Brigdeport thou hast been Bitched Stomped!!!!

Yep that's right despite having too much electrolyte drink on the bike, swallowing about two gallons of sea water water on the swim, cramping like nobody's business on the run, and missing my podium due to GI distress, I manage to persevere and Bitch Stomp the rest of my age group, (winning by a hard fought 20 seconds.) Here's how it went down: ( note I have no clue who team mossman is using for results so I'll have splits posted later in the week....month....year....whenever I can find them.....)

The Swim: Two loops of Salty Goodness.
The more I do these Salt Water Tris, the more I'm finding a love hate relationship developing
Love: Waves and current can give me a favorable time boost if the conditions are right.
Love: Some of my Fastest Splits Have been in Salt Water
Love: Cool ocean Temperatures make my wetzoot nice and comfortable allowing optimum performance.
Hate: Salty Water Taste ( oh how I pine for West Hill Lake.....Friday night.), Jelly Fish and the stings thereof, low tide messing with my swim exit, did I mention the dehydrating pure salt taste of Long Island Sound?, Having to soak all my tri gear in fresh Water to get rid of Ocean Residue.
Well all my gripes aside the swim was actually pretty enjoyable today. As I started wide and cut my way in toward the first bouy. Once again I had managed to get toward the front, yet now I found my self in a 5 person wrestling match as we fought for the same water. I decided to get on the feet of the fastest guy and followed his line to the next four bouys. By the turn at the beach It was a four man breakaway. I talked to the leader ( some German/Dutch/Danish Dude From NYC who said his sole goal was to win the swim. As we Started our in the Water Jog around the bouy. It was at this point I decided that my wetzoot was not made for running and as soon as I found waist deep water I started to swim for the first bouy. It was about this time No Wet Suit Guy ( I'm not sure if there's a relation to No Wet Suit Girl...don't think so but it proves that there are more people than Claire that go sans Neoprene.) darted around me and the race leader and quickly got a 25 yard lead. I passed the dude from NYC as we turned at the first bouy and made chase after No Wet suit Guy. It was about this time that we caught the slow pack form the third and second waves ( Angry and I had left in the first because hey we're young and studly like that.) When we got to the Beach No Wet Suit Guy was 10 yards ahead and I was being chased by a National Team Memember.... as I entered T-1 in second place.
T-1: I think all distances should have wet suit strippers.
The National team memember passed me as I struggled to get my feet out of the wetsuit. I put on my helmet and sunglasses & shoelessly ran out the Bitch Stomper. As I got to the mount line I realized I should never use elasttics to keep my shoes upright again and lost two spots and a precious three seconds as I unhooked my shoes from my water bottles rode on them barefoot for a quarter mile before slipping in like a pro.
The Bike: Go Bitch Stomper! Go Bitch Stomper! Go Bitch Stomper Go! or less HEED is more .
The bike for this thing was flat as a panacake, the only work was the head wind on the front half. I was passed by about ten people through out the course of the 5 loops of the bike. Now Today I broke one of the Ten Commandments of triathlon and the Tri Gods Pimped smacked me across the face deservingly. Last night I decided to take Hammer Nutrition.com's advice and put two scoops of HEED in my aero drink instead of my usual one....the results were disasterous....my electrolyte mix was too damn sweet and I would lose more precious milli-seconds grabbing my water bottles...I also sacrificed one bottle to dillute the sickly sweet mess in my aero drink...the bottom line I took in too much fluid and I knew I was going to be a suffering bastard on the run...so in hind sight follow tri commandment Number 3 " Do not change your previously established routines on race day." One each of the loops as I passed the far turn around I would ride by Angry Runner who was maybe half to quarter of a lap behind and each loop he would say something different.
Loop 1: "Bitch Stomper!"
Loop2: "I'm going to pyramid like we'd dicussed"
Loop3: "Why Haven't you lapped me already?"
Loop4: "The guy infront of you doesn't deserve that aero helmet."..or some thing to that affect....I really don't know I was in the zone
Loop5: Too busy trying to chase down 40 something who passed me on a road bike. granted he was a lap behind.
Some equipment failure did befall the bitch stomper on her madein voyage. At the far turn we were greeted by the roughest strech of Pavement in Fairfield County, the bolt holding my seat to the post shook loose. Also my computer shit the bed as I tried to reset it after my warm up ride, hence I have no clue how fast I was going...all I know is my sister got mostly shots of my back of my (borrowed) HEAT jersey as I rode by which is what my competition was seeing all day. As I came in off the last hairpin I decided that it was a logical execution of opportunity to do my sexy shoeless dismount...which went off almost flawless, ( I scraped my foot a little on my dismount.)
T-2 I feel like I'm going to puke ...damn it I'm not going to puke on an Olympic Tri.
My stomach was cramping and unsettled as I slipped on my running shoes and threw on my Timex Visor. I took off out of transition behind a guy from Team Runner's Edge as we chased down a memeber of the dreaded Cycle Center Squad. At the Half-mile mark I got around the Runner's Edge guy but could only hold him for 400 meters before he re passed me at the turn around and he and the Cycle Center Runner began to pull away, from my semi-hydrated yet, GI distressed self. I passed Angry as he made his way up to the turn around I shouted to him. " Get Pissed off!" He shouted back " You got another guy from Heat up in about 4th palce reel him in. " the sad thing is I do know the other HEATster that was man handling me ( met him at Central during masters...(sigh I miss it already.) his bike split is freaking phenominal) but I can't remember his name ( I do know he is one of the IM USA wrecking crew.) I saw another memember of team Blazeman (War on ALS) ( Nick) as he ran by I shouted out a "Go Warrior!" To him and it helpped perk him up a he suffered through the run ( coming off of the Lake Placid, Timberman Combo as I would find out when we talked post race.). As I passed the turn around ( and took in more water, hey I needed it it was freaking humid GI distress or not.) was met by some encouragement from some fellow HEATsters as I heard 3 or 4 shouts of Go HEAT! and I gave a shout of the same phrase to my teamate that was manhandling the competiton and any other Heatster that was wearing the gear. As I ran to the second turn around still feeling the cramps I saw on guy fom my age group on his first lap cramping and doing the run/walk of doom. ( I went through that at mile 23 on my marathon.) I gave hima pat on the back and " Come on man you got this." as I ran past. I took two waters at the turn aid station as my mouth felt like sandpaper, my body felt like it was overheating, and my stomach was chiming in with " You asshole I can't take anymore fluid." I watch disheartened as an XC stud from Marist Clad in his full running gear flew Past me and some of the older guys I was struggling with. . I ran by Angry and after a high five and a "pick them off one at a time" I surged. I passed three guys before my stomach brought me back to reality with a " if you keep this shit up I'm going to puke. " Once again I shouted a "Go Warrior !"to Nick as he plowed on his way to the turn around. Again I surged and again I was bitch smacked by my aching stomach. I passed the final aid staiton and began my 400 meter approach through a tunnel of people.Shouts of "You got this! Go Heat! Almost there! " echoed accross the road. I saw the finish line clock 2:17.59 I crossed hand pointed skyward because I knew there were some people on the other side that were keeping me going. ( you know God, dead Realtives, the Blazeman, Angry's mom with a quiver of wooden spoons.) 2:18 was my finish time. I grabbed a sobe life water and a wet rag which quickly feel to the sand. I slowly sipped the life water but it did nothing for the cramps as My cheering section ( Christina and Julia) made our way toward the the finish line to watch for Angry. I saw another Heatster finish, then I was doubled over with cramps, I would straighten up watch 2..3...5..guy finish then again collaspe with cramps...watched angry come in locked in a battle with an old Guy shouted at him to push! he edged him out on the Line. Nick the Balzeman Warrior was a few seconds behind and ran accross the line. No log roll...as he put it as we BSed after the race..."If I rolled I don't think I'd be able to get up." Bsed with Nick Then BSed with Angry. collasped on a towel in transition as Angry packed his shit. "Dude you are really fucked up aren't you?" " GI distress...too much HEED!" man this is a complete turn around normally he's the one suffering GI failure . I went to pack my crap. Collasped on my towel with cramps...to some it would look like I was a Muslim at prayer as I knelt on on my Transition mat trying to compress the pain out of my mid section. After dropping my gear to the car I ran to the bath room. Sat down and well...you get the picture...go to get toliet paper. there is none. Hear angry calling for me..Call out to him to get me some napkins from the snack bar. He comes back with them for me just as they announce I've won my age group. I finish my business and dash for the podium I'm too late for the pic but I get my goodie bag. Go back and finish business. Grap a thing of Pretzels and Angry and I bs through the giveaways. the Cramps start to subside but are still there...go to med tent ( ie an Ambulance with two EMT) ask for tums or rolaids don't have any. Go back to the car drive home. un pack my crap, before doing 2 of the 4 s's and heading to lunch. Come home collaspe on the couch for 3 hours. Write on the blog about my exploits and then take out trash. All in all it's been a Hell of a day.
R.D.

The Night Before Park City

That's right tomorrow is my last intermediate distance tri of the 2007 season. It also marks christening day for the Bitch Stomper ( May God bless her, her rider and the numerous bitches it shall stomp.) Tomorrow also marks the first "real" test of endurance for Angry Runner. It's his longest tri and it will be his trial run before Eagleman...To Angry unlike Waramaug this course is flat, like Florida Flat, like miles and miles of corn rows and ten feet of snow midwest flat, serious the worst climb is the speed bump in the parking lot you drive over to get to the race.

Unfortunately our favorite girl who does not wear neoprene is back in Europe ( enjoying better mass transit, health care, currency, but drivers who are complete and utter psycopaths flooring it in their smart cars, and thick clouds of Spanish air pollution) and therefore she will not be competing with Angry and I in our International distance escapade. But the good news is I do have some pictures to imortalize her brief yet successful New England Tri Tour:

Yes Claire I think that Guy looks like Hannibal Lector as well. In fact he was in the Litchfield Starbucks ordering a Chanti Latte and I was quickly forced to use one of Cranky's clever alaises ("Gen. Peter Pace your mocha frappe is ready.")

Well I need to get some sleep....there are age groups to win, times to beat, and bitches to stomp in the morining. Also to those of you that have donated to the War on ALS and Angry's Crusade to Bitch Stomp Luekemia, Thank you. And for those of you considering to Donate, your contributions are much appreciated even if it is as small as 1 Transyvainan dracma, or 1 Monzambique Dollar, it does make a difference..( ok I will end my shameless charity plug...in two months you might see me on TV doing an add for ALS or Save the Children followed by an add for the IDT technical institue where you could earn your high school diploma or get your degree in business management or accounting...Sally Struthers eat your heart out. but seriously please donate...it doesn't have to be a huge donation, it could be as little as a buck but think of it this way it could be the buck that buys the burger for some researcher having lunch with another researcher when they both by random chance come up with a cure for a terrible disease, because they compared notes during their lunch break.) Ok enough with the salesman stuff I need sleep. Until the Post Race.

R.D.

I have traveresed the State twice in the last 48 hours and all I got was a swim cap that won't open and a Terramuggus T-shirt.

Well as seen by the last post's date I've been too busy to blog so i'm going to do a quick half assed wrap up of the last 72 hours.

Wed. Worked until 4:30Pm told Bev, the branch's assistant manager that I'm fundraising for ALS. She's like cool, will they pay your travel
Me: no but the money I'm raising for goes to research.
Get out of work Pack Enrico into the car along with my swim gear. Haul out to Cheshire and Crank out 21 miles on the bike paths. It was a little damp but not too slick. No one was really out so I was able to get aero and stay aero for most of the ride. Cranked it out in 1:09 at an average speed of 18.6 mph.
Went to the Waterbury Y got in a decent swim work out (3300 yds. main set was 10x 100 on 1:25 I was holding 1:18 on most of them.)
Got home collasped sleep came and morning folowed the second day....

Thurs. No real work out. ( Slept through my alarm. cussed to self went back to sleep until 8am woke up with a holy shit I've got to be at work in half an hour.)
Worked
got out a 6:30 hauled out to Terramuggus to watch some of my college team homies race. Got there at 7:45 just as the last of them finished. Stuck around for the give aways BSing with Anthony got a t-shirt, bike polish and a swim cap. BS ed with 2006 IM Female Age Group World Champion Donna Kay Ness. She's not going to Kona this year (achilles is acting up) BSed with Cristiano ( Not doing IM Flordia in 07 looking to do IM NZ in 09 ...Guys we may need a HEAT Tent and Beer Shipped to Taupo). Anthony won gift cert. to loco perro...go get tacos shoot the shit for an hour. I drive 66 back to 691 and 322 home ( I hate that freaking richtey old brigde in Portland). Collaspe..sleep came and morning followed the third day....

Friday:
Sleep through alarm again...cuss to self...deja vu... Go to Work ..Bev asks me to sign signature card....she opened a savings account for my travel expenses and ALS donations...say she's taking a collection for me ( thanks Bev)... work with a positive attitude all day...market manager comes in I tell him about my ALS fundraiser..says company can't really help and he can't really solicit. Gives me 20 bucks..I donate via debit card.. give him reciept. (Thanks Ken).
Get out of work early. Go home get swim gear. Drive out to West hill lake to meet, Ken, Vin, Ray, Jim, and Doug for an open Water swim. Forgot to bring a wet suit , so did Ken, the water was cold. Going out to the island ( about a mile away) it was like the Patriot Half the waves were choppy and pushing you back. I decide to sight off of Vin because he knew where he was going Ken flew by both of us. We got to the island Ken is freaking shivering sitting on one of the rocks ( damn 5% total body fat.) We wait for Jim, Ray, and Doug to come in. After about five minutes we decide to head back. ( to spare Ken a fatal bout of hypothermia.) Start heading back. We make a bearing on the boat launch sign at the other end of the lake. I started off good keeping up with Ken and Vin. but I kept having a hard time trying to sight, my freaking hair is too long and my bangs kept covering my goggles...time for a hair cut. ( that swim cap I got from Terramuggus was defective it's welded shut.) I dedcided to keep sighting the boat launch sign. As we got closer to the boat launch the waves that were slowing us down on the way out were pushing us in. At one point you could almost body surf on the waves ( to paraphrase Ken.) Not a bad little work out. Hang out with the guys for a couple minutes. Jim and Vin start drooling over Desiree Ficker, Jim talks about Karen Smyers and despite the fact she's in her late 40's battled cancer, had three kids, and has been messed up in more wrecks than any woman on the planet she's still hot and has " an ass that you could shoot a bullet at and it'll still bounce off." Ken and I talk about entering Madison as a Relay, (Ken =swim Me=bike ( en el trepidor de puntas...en ingles On The Bitch Stomper) Runner =TBA Cristiano, Angry, trainer, somebody? shit I'm going to be doing a dualthon. ) We're going to see if Cristiano wants in as the runner, other wise we must courrpt Skywalker to the dark side....I mean get Angry Runner to join HEAT either that or I will MAN UP and do the bike and run leg. Ken tries talking me into doing HammerFest and the Vilette 5k on the SAMEDAY.( Jedi mind trick) the jury's still out on wether or not I'm doing Hammerfest...I probably will if I have the funds.But in either case I will be racing somewhere in CT on September 16,2007. Tomorrow after work I'll get my cleats put on my racing shoes and will practce my sexy mount and dismount in Cheshire...( Angry you down for a mid- afternoon lesiurely ride.). In the mean time I'm tired . I'm going to try to get some sleep... but before I go I will launch another appeal to donate to the two worthy causes posted at this blog. Please Donate. Help Angry, myself and our respected charities Bitch Stomp these terrible diseases. Ok that was my desperate Appeal for the week.
R.D.

This week is turning into run focus

Well after gutting out roughly 13 miles tonight ( in 2:01.20 roughly 9:25 /per mile pace..thanks to the pace calculator @ trizilla.com), I was too shot to get in what is a desperately needed swim work out...(always tomorrow morning). So far I've managed to swim 3800 yds and ran 13 miles this week so that whole idea of taper is out the window. ( Training for IM New Zealand began as soon as I crossed the finish line in New Hartford). Hopefully this weather will get its ass in gear and I'll be able to ride tomorrow. The picture below is me on trusty Enrico.

( if it's wet those bike trails are looking tempting and trusty Enrico ( my sister's nickname for my road bike.) will be getting action. The Michelin's at least have treads, and I don't want to wreck the tri bike on the eve of its first race...if it dries up however... I will be practicing my sexy shoeless mount and dismount.)Yes this is yet another shameless plug for a picture of The Bitch Stomper. ( I paid $1600 for it so I will be showing it off until I upgrade in 2 years or get sponsored by specialized and get the Mc Cormack Special.) Yes I know you're jealous of this sexy piece of aluminum. Anyway that was what happened on this cold dreary day . I would also like to rant at this moment about Clif bars. Are CliffBars a natural laxative?

Seriously, every time I go for a run after eating one of these things, after 6 miles my bowels are like "too much fiber need to shit." Which is sad because I actually like the taste of the bars #1, and now it leaves me reeling for what type of solid food I should bring with me on the IM bike...looks like Bonita Bananas

will once again prove to be the food of choice for this IM New Zealand Athlete ( hence allowing them to cash in on the sponsorship deal.) Although Larabars

have a great taste and seem not to have a disastrous side effects with my gastric systems. But anyway today was a pretty fruitfull three town tour. I began my run from my home in Wolcott and darted down lyman road and potoccous ring rd. and across 69. I ran past scovil's dam then up Todd rd. Darted across CT 322 (Meriden rd. and ran down pierpont rd. I ran down Waterbury's east Main st. into Cheshire. ( Angry drove by in his Corolla as he was driving back from Hartford. He honked and started shouting as he crusied past at 45 mph.) Then up Byam rd. back through Waterbury and into Wolcott. Instead of killing my shins on the pitted back half of CT 322 I decided to run the way I came and darted down Todd road. As I approached the Wolcott Ambulance Barn I decided that I was not going to be able to keep that Clif Bar under wraps. After BS with the Paramedic ( who was one of my Pop's co workers) I used the facilities and took off to finish my run feeling about 10lbs. (I'm telling you those Clif bars sit like a rock.) lighter. Instead of going all the way back up Wolcott Rd. I decide not to turn onto Brooks hill Rd. and instead went down Munson and then up Kroger Crossing 69 onto the upper half of Potoccous Ring, and then followed Lyman and Chestnut back home. All in all it was and interesting and hard run. My legs will probably thank me for this abuse tomorrow but as they say no pain no gain.

R.D.

I'm Runin' in the the rain...just runin' in the rain.....

That's right it seems the calendar says August but the weather thinks its April, it's a wonderfully dreary, raw rainy day. The last check on my weather bug had it at 55 degrees ( where are all those global warming psychos now!) So now as I sit here and throw on my running shorts and long sleeves I'm now forced with a dilemma, do I taper for this week's olympic distance race on a flat multiple loop course in Brigdeport, or do I go for a 15-20 mile love fest to get my legs Half Iron and New Zealand ready....decisions ..decisions.... all I know is that if the weather stays like this I might as well run in a wet suit.

(Yes this is me and my bad ass self getting out of the water in 2nd at the Nutmeg State Sprint after being punked by a high school hot shot.)

On tap after my running bliss is another swim workout to get myself back into ass kicking bitch stomping shape so I can take a shot at the overall on Sunday.

Also please donate to the charities listed above...help your fellow human beings..help Angry Runner Bitch Stomp Leukemia and Lymphoma!

R.D.

Why do I race?

Why do I get up almost every weekend from the second week of June to the last week of September and push my body to the limit?
Psychosis?
High tolerance for pain?
Adrenaline Rush?
The fact that I eat enough food to feed a third world country and I don't want gastric bypass?
The fact that both my high school track and swim coaches told me I'd never be a champion and this is my way of spitting in their face?
To impress the ladies?
The Beer? ( Shout out to Raf, and the guys at HEAT!)
Full Blown Insanity?
No the answer is much more simple than that. I race because I can. ( see Patriot Half post when I missed spelt "Because" due to pure adrenaline rush and sleep deprivation). I've seen the you tube videos of Team Hoyt, I've watched ,been inspired by, and have quoted Blazeman ( if you believe that you can channel a spirit then I most certainly believe Jon Blais was with me on that run in Freetown.), I've seen 70 year old Nuns gut out an Ironman and finish with a moment to spare. I've seen great feats by people finishing tris with prosthetic legs, paralyzed people getting into racing wheelchairs a wheeling themselves through downtown Nashville for double their planned race. I've seen high school kids taking to the sport as I did when I was a luke warm shit ( I was never a hot shit) swimmer and track runner and gutting it out on mountain bikes or equipment from the 70's and 80's. I've watched up and coming athletes derailed by unplanned injury and illness, and seen the same athletes get back up and spit in the face of those who said they'd never compete again. I've watched a friend and teammate fight for her life and win, and I watched another teammate have her life cruelly end as it just began. I race because I know that today I am still able and tomorrow is an uncertainty. Today I could be fine, Tomorrow I could get hit by a car, I could get shot at the bank, I could get diagnosed with ALS, Leukemia, terminal cancer, erratic heartbeat, or one of a million things that could be fatal, Tomorrow I might not wake up and if I look back on 22 years of existence I want to know I did what I wanted and I want to know I left nothing on the table. I race for those who can no longer compete, I race for Alicia, for Lacey, For Lucille and Helen, For Jerry, For Martha, For Ray and Helene, For Michael, For Paul, For Bob, For Ken, For Blair, For Angry and Claire, For Jon, For Mom, For Pop, For Adam, For Ryan, For Chris, Chris, Ryan, and Will, For my sisters, for my brother, For Tom, For the HEATsters, For those who believed in me when I didn't, For those who pushed me when I felt I could not go on, For those I share the field of battle with, and for those who physically can not race, quite simply put I race because I can.

The Bitch Stomper Handling Trials.

Well on Saturday, dry conditions and cool temperatures made it conducive for me to official baptize The Bitch Stomper into my unique riding style ( ie aggressively attack everything but a 10% gradient down hill). I took my lovely aluminum "Trepidor de Puntas" ( Claire can you double check mi espanol) up to Lake Waramaug and ran it through three laps of the sprint course to get a feel for it. I will say that I learned several things in my test ride at waramaug and my Sunday twice around the blocker.

1) I am more comfortable breaking with bullhorn bars than I am with my road hoods.
2) I need to get better at shifting on climbs ( on those two bitch hills at Waramaug I nearly fell over on my first lap because it was in too high a gear.)
3) Bring on the Gale force winds at Eagleman and Kona I CAN BITCH STOMP THEM! ( During my lovely tour de lake I was nearly blown across the yellow line twice by 30+ mph wind gusts. I was never in jeopardy of being blown off the bike, but those damn cross winds kill your momentum.)
4) the thing turns on a dime very responsive.
5) I need to get used to unclipping my road shoes although I was clipping and unclipping like an expert today.
6) I need to learn how to clip my tri shoes so they're on the pedals and I can mount and dismount like a pro at Park City this weekend.
7) Michelin Ironman Pros ....nuff said.
8) New bike gear bag that will attach to my aero seat post.( my current saddle bag's post mount isn't large enough to fit around my new flat aero post and I had to use elastics to strap it in place this week end. )
9) I need to stay aero on anything that's not a hairpin turn, suicide decent..well screw the last one...or a climb.
10). HED H3's and an aero helmet?
11) Even if it cuts into the sexy aero tuck...hydrate...hydrate...hydrate!!!
Well after about 26 miles on the bike ( I know it's a short one but my mileage will be spiking after this weekend as I get into Half IM and IM mode) I went for a ten mile run, with my new fuel belt. I chugged around the Waramaug Bike loop and back down to where I parked my car in New Preston ( because there is no way in Hell I was paying 7 bucks to park at the State Park.) After 3 hours of biking and running bliss ( 1:33 on the bike and 1:29.5 on the run) My legs felt a little tight but they still seem ready to crank out a Half IM. I went and visited my Pops up in Winsted ( he was working the bitch double shift) So I brought him coffee and we watched the Firemen's carnival fireworks from the Health Center. Today was a lazy day. I went to church, cooked a cardiac nightmare breakfast ( bacon and eggs), and got in about 3 miles on the bike just for shits and giggles (I rolled through the burbs in my cycling shoes and cargo shorts, and got stares from all the middle school aged guys with their BMX toys, they were amazed any one could climb this one bitch hill by my house with out dismounting, their jaws dropped when they saw I never even got out of the saddle. BOO YAH!) So yeah Saturday I had a good hard workout and Today I sat on my ass and got fat. Tomorrow I will purge my high cholesterol treats from today out of my system with an ass kicking morning swim and a 6 mile run. Until then Happy Training!
R.D.