Back in Black....

Well not really...I cringe at my credit card bills when they arrive...but for the most part I am now free to train like a rabid animal. I do have 2 pages of Anthropology to type, but I have recieved nothing back from my professor so I will double check the email address and make sure I sending to the right person. Tonight I only got 1500 yards in at the pool, I'm tired, trying to de stress, and spent most of the time BS-ing with Stef. Tomorrow depending on the weather I have a long ass ride/run combo of death on tap. Sunday...depending on my cash flow, I will go train with HEAT. I'm discovering that me being isolated is not a good thing and usually leads to crazy thoughts, like quitting Tri....taking on 3 jobs....buying 3 AK-47's and a month's worth of ammo and flying to Afgahnistan to track down Bin Laden for the $12 million Bounty...hey he's the real danger to our country....a guy without a country and nothing to lose...alright I'll stop my Bush Whacking now...

Like I said isolation isn't good for me. So yes tomorrow I have a lovely ride planned, followed by a long run. The stimulus check I'm desperately waiting for will come on July 11....( mumbles to self...shakes fist.) so any major race planning or gear purchase will come along then.....oh aero helmet I can taste thee.....well I'll just borrow Bjoern's for Eagleman.....if he's back in time.
Eagleman is my pace setter for the year...although I'm debating forking over $30 for a spare cassette for the Griskus....that won't happen until after Eagleman and I know the full extent of the financial hit...of gas, $250 for hotel, and possibly a $250 entry to Clearwater.....if I qualify for Kona, I might be begging Bree Wee for a homestay....I'll sleep in the garage, and I cook, do dishes and windows, diapers...not so much. So yes tomorrow, I have to register my car, then ride, run, pick up a winning lottery ticket, and type two pages of grade A Anthropological BS. So that's it for me tonight. Also head on over to speedracer's site and wish her a happy birthday, and donate to her AIDS Lifecycle page. Also in about 7 hours she will be kicking serious ass in her sexy new wetsuit....

Well I've got an ungodly load of distance tomorrow.
R.D.

This Week's sign of the Apocalypse.....

Upon checking the Sports Section I have some discovered some news that will shock any one who follows baseball in the NorthEast.....The Tampa Bay Devil Ray....Perpetural cellar dwellers have the best record in the American Leauge.....and the Yankees my beloved Bombers ...are in the basement.

Anyone who knows anything about the Devil Rays ( the biggest joke in baseball history)...knows how shocking this news is. ...Now this means I can longer make Jokes at how much they suck....

If Guns and Roses releases Chinese Democray this week I'm Building a bomb shelter.

R.D.

The Exorcism of Bobby D.....

Alright my last few posts have been way too negative ...( I'm finding out the hard way that you sholud never post frustrated from the office especially not during an audit. That will suck the happiness out of even the most sunny personality.) I also guess that posting 1 post or in this case 2 posts in a day is proof of a complete lack of social life...(what the hell happended to me I used to be cool.) So now I must exorcise the whiny depressed bastard out of me again. My method..well the Church uses prayers in Latin, funny hats, incense and holy water, and if all else fails inviting the demon in and jumping down a steep flight of stairs....personally, I don't want to go the Father Karas Route....besides I don't feel like having to clean green puke off my walls at some ungodly hour of the night. I have decided the only way to rid my self of the whiny bitch is my invoking the true sprit of the Bitch Stomper. If the weather is good on Saturday I'm planning on a ride of 75 to 100 miles. I don't know when I'm leaving, don't know when I'll be back..just going out and riding where the road takes me...which is usually out to the lake, or Cheshire...or nowhere special. No worry's on gas prices as cookies, Gu and shot bloks tend to be a little cheaper than $4.00 a gallon.I've got two spare tubes, 2 CO2 cartridges, and the wonderful multi tool. I might drive to a strategic location, I might just leave from home, all in all it doesn't matter, I need some seat time to clear my head..and a Saturday morning free from the rat race sounds good to me.
The more I sit at home and stew,worry, and debate, the lower I'm going to get, at least on the road I can let my mind wander a little bit, and worry more about the semi coming up behind me instead of senseless shit I can't change.

Let the exorcism begin.

To hang it up or not to hang it up that is the question...

Well while today, started off a little Murphy's Law...I slept in, my dogs ran off, my other sister slept in so I had to drive her to school, got in to work to find out we were getting our Semi annual audit....surprise! ( And people wonder why I'm going gray in my 20's.) But it seems like I have found some balance to the force....to quote my star wars/ Indiana Jones addicted brother. My Anthropology professor will get back to me on my paper, I don't feel so bad as three of us required extensions...and we were all doing relatively well...I think I have like a B or B- for the semester as of now.


I have my last exam tonight...which means I have to bash Stalin, and explain why the Allies won World War II .... seriously I think we had better leaders for propaganda I mean a British propaganda pic...Churchill with a Tommy Gun...German Propaganda Hitler in Liderhoesen...seriously who would you think's more bad ass? ( note to self if I edit this post..put up the picture of Sir Winston packing heat.)





Over the Last two days I have started upping my non-existent volume. I got in a 4 mile run on Tuesday night followed by 3000 yards in the pool. Last night I did 3300 in the pool, so my swim leg for Eagleman might be lethally fast as usual. After checking split times...I'm going to need every second if I want a chance at Kona or Clearwater. My run split would be about 5th fastest...my swim about 3rd and my bike. ( in my age group..it depends on the day and terrain. If the wind is calm expect a sub 3 hour ride...if it's typical Eagleman, expect alot of the other competitors and I to be pulling a Lt. Dan from Forest Gump...cussing out 36 mph head winds... put I still expect even in winds to be able to crack 3 hours....hopefully the Bad Karma train..which has been getting back at me a lot lately won't make an appearance. My mood has been generally negative, I blame alot of it on the unholy trinity of stress...Finals, Work and Home. My mom actually sold some high end rentals which is good...but the feds decided to screw any of us who used Turbo Tax..so that stimulus check...might be non-existent.

In any case, when this whole finals week/ final draft of anthropology paper are done one major source of my stress will have been alleviated.

Later this summer I need to run a cost benefit/analysis on my racing schedule as well as if I should race next year. As one person put it I'm spending close to 33% of my annual income on racing. ( a majority of that was the IM) With college loans coming due, expenses that pop up from my family, as well as my own debts which need to get paid down, if I want to do anything with my life. It is painstakingly clear that a 10 race schedule just isn't feasible. An Ironman may be in the cards for next year, but I need to see how my summer finances unfold. Another idea I've been batting around is after RI 70.3 is to hang it up...not for the week.......but for good. Part of me finds great joy in the sport and thinks that with the right training, equipment and race planning I could go far. The other part of me is saying.." Bob you are unworthy of this, go back to the books and the office and let the real athletes play...besides you need the extra cash." It is something I do for love, but I'm finding out in this world money is the be all and end all. While I would like to be able to sit back at age 40 with a house paid off, my nieces' and nephews tuition for an Ivy League sitting in trust ( I do not plan on having kids..so my sibling's children will be spoiled rotten then sent home.) The other part of me realizes that given the way I eat and stress out, without the sport, I might not make it to 40. ( heart disease is hereditary in my family.) Also, God forbid, if I was diagnosed with Cancer, ALS, MS, or some other disease that would make even the simplest tasks a burden, would I want to look back on my life and say " Yea I was in to tri for a while I was good, I could have done more in it but I walked away at 23."

Well I've got a final to cram for.

R.D.

Positive news, some life venting, more positive news

Ok the last couple of posts have been sort of negative as my exams and 1 300lbs. Gorrilla of a paper have sucked the life out of me . My anth paper still needs a peer review but my professor has been understanding...so by friday it should be done and my semester will officially be over. Last night I managed to get in a 4 mile "breather" run and 3000 yds. in the pool.
My ambitious main set of 5x200 fell on its butt regally, I manged to hold 2 of them, tried on the third but my body was just too spent from paper writing. I changed my main set instead to 10x 100's on 1:25. Bjoern is in ready or not mode for Switzerland 70.3 , we went to dinner, sort of as a " hey thanks for some of the help with the training" deal. Bjoern sounds ready for it. His main concern is the swim in a mountain lake in the beginning of June....possibly sans wetsuit...his bike leg...well....Stadler-esque comes to mind...without the temper tantrum over a flat tire. The run is my main concern for him because his knee acts up occasionally, but his last 8 miler went pretty well....I'm confident he'll have a good day. positive part 1 done!

The rest of my 2008 and 2009 season are on hold....I have some debt I need to reduce..as well as a delicate situation at home. I'll most likely throw down for Niantic, Park City and Nutmegman, but those races are all game time decisions. Ironman New Zealand has not sold at the rate I was expecting it to, so I can wait a little longer before sending in an entry fee, and arranging travel....whether or not I will do it remains to be seen, indeed whether or not I will race at all next year remains to be seen. I'm not burned out I'm just consumed by guilt...knowing my race fees can easily be gas and groceries for the week...granted a lot of people have told me I should live my life, and enjoy my "youth" while it lasts...including my priest, parents, friends....I just constantly have the fear that I will end up like my parents, having to take care of everyone else's shit when they become old and senile and having to live my life vicariously.... that's part of the reason I want to move to the left coast....that and weather more conducive to year round training...the longer I stay in Connecticut, the more entrenched I will become and after 30 years, still be at the Bank, have a sore knee from shoveling, and stress from having to manage my parents' affairs, because I'll be the only one close and not bitter. In essence I will have become my parents. Not that that's a bad thing but I don't want to wait until I'm in my early forties to find myself and start living. Ok vent done!

Last night over dinner, Bjoern and I in the midst of our speaking tri geek, have come up with an interesting business proposition. Now it's still a few years off, but it doesn''t hurt to plan and research. We sat there talking about forgein Ironmans and the idea of buying a condo in one of the towns..use for the month up until the race thane earn income on it the other 11 months renting it out. Definately work in Placid, especially during the Winter....well we took the idea one step further...then a little bit further....I don't want to get into details but think the Red Bull house in Kona now multiply that times 3 and for the average triathlete, in the high income world of triathlon this could be a very viable idea...also with the real estate market tanking..it might be an affordable under taking.....

( For all financial planners worried about me going through with this..don't be..I have neither the capital, investors, nor business plan set up. Although despite the numerous things that could go wrong..worst case senario...I would end up with a house in either Lake Placid, NY, Panama City, FL, or Taupo, NZ and I end up teaching there until I pay off the mortgage...or rent out....I don't know about you but Panama City in the middle of July ( humidity) or Lake Placid from October to March doesn't sound pleasant unless you're a humidity/ snow lover... which hey I could rent to the elederly/ ski crowd....I don't have the capital don't worry....this plan is years off, or a pipe dream at best. Afterall dreams only become nightmares when you try to make them realities,without the proper planning and cost/benefit analysis.)

Well that's all the news that's fit to print.
R.D,

Shoot me! Shoot me now!

Yesterday, when I went to email my paper I foundout that it wasn't loading into Central's copy of Microfsoft office..ok I'll just email it from home I thought...I go to open it on my computer and the worst words in the english language flashed accross my screen: "this file is courrpted and can not open." No this is a bad dream..some nightmare from the twilight zone.....a weekend's worth of work gone....oh curse you...oh damn you..oh somebody load me up on caffine as I start over from scratch. needless to say from 3pm Yesterday until 1pm today I was in hurry up offense..I called in sick to work this morning...some new dreadful disease..paperitis could be fatal..symptoms include serve increase in stress levels and drop in GPA..side effects could be an extra semester at Central. needless to say I managed to get it out 13 pages of grade A American...or in this case British Bullshit. I don't really care anymore as long as I pass the course and never have to take it again I'll be happy. It was not my best work but for a combined 16 hours of sleep in the last 4 days, juggling another paper, and studying for exams...it'll do. considering I had to explain to my professor it was late with the modern equivlaent of the dog ate my homework excuse I don't think I scored any brownie points..but the sad thing my computer really crapped out on me....oh the karma train got back at me big time for all the times I used that excuse at Fordham. If my thesis is going to be anything like this I'm starting my research now..because when I handed in that paper I felt like a mother who had just given birth....months of dread and worry, nearly 23 hours of labor...and in an instant the finished product...a devil spawn..I mean precious angel.

Well that is it for my adventure with Mr. History Paper.
things I learned:

1. I am really, really glad I didn't live in the 1840's.
2. Hospitals were filthy, overcrowded, understaffed, and usually crawling with medical students...wait today Hospitals aren't as filthy, but are still overcrowded, under staffed, and crawling with medical students.
3. I'm glad the guy cutting me open with a knife has gone through years of college and lab work and is not apprenticed like they were before 1858.
4. Apparently they thought mercury, opium and turpentine were good for you....pass the heroin please.
5.Somehow I don't think sumerging a burn victim in hot water is going to cure shock.
6. Robert Liston could have taken a side gig as an action hero..he put his knife between his teeth as he worked the bone saw during amputations.
7.Mrs. Beeton's cure for the common cold sounds like it would be a good party cocktail...
8.I have a new profound respect for the Victorian house wife...if she really wanted to kill her spouse she didn't need an ax, the medicine cabinet could have done the job 10 times over.
9. I never noticed the subtle nutty taste of maxwell house before I lived off it for 3 days straight.
10.These guys must have been the precusors to modern athletes because I have never read about people so concerned about their diet.

ahh so that's it I can unwind...oh shit I've got two more pages of an anthropology paper...2 pages..that ain't shit...I just hope the file didn't courrpt itself.

The Slumping Student in the corner
R.D.

Die Evil Paper!

Yes today is the day my Victorian England paper is due. It is completely different from my first draft, it has kept me up nights and I am still not done. I am six pages out but luckily she's accepting it via email until the wee-hours ( granted I'm out of work early so I should have it to her by 6:30PM, God Bless you internet.) I write this post on 4 hours of sleep after a night of borrowing computers, watching my beloved dell, bite the dust at a crucial moment yet again...once I send that email, I am using $1.00 of my university subsidized print credit to print myself a copy that will be destroyed using various means to rid my self of access frustration...burning, using as toliet paper, tearing into millions of pieces have all been thought up...while some of the research and topics were interesting, if I have to read one more article on how opium could cure simple aches and pains I might be "chasing the dragon" to ease my torment. This paper kept me in most of the weekend.. I vowed I would not be a last minute Charlie, yet here I am again, printing typing the final pages hours before the deadline...oh curse you good weather, oh curse you mother's day, oh curse you University administration who makes me perform this torture......alright I just collasped there for a second...the only things holding me together are the necktie and several cups of coffee I've been consuming at a rapid rate...alright it's almost over take courage man....six pages of bullshit, just make sure I get my sources in. I'm in the juicy part so I should be able to crank it out rather quickly....all I know when this paper is finally finished a 300 lbs. Gorillia will have been lifted off my shoulders, then I can get back to normalcy. Oh shit I'm writing like a Victorian....this just won't do, not at all.

Alright I'm getting back to work....if they findout you can get cancer from a computer screen in 50 years I fully plan on suing, Dell and HP.

The Tired Typer.
R.D.