Well in about 12 hours or so I begin my odyssey to Massachusetts, to begin my 2009 tri season. Money's a little tight from some unplanned expenses so that has me a little on edge, and racing wise I'm hoping my run training's been good enough. I've been averaging between 16-24 miles per week for the last three weeks I even ran a 5k in my racing flats last night to see how they felt. I've got to load them with baby powder because I need to save time where ever I can on Saturday because I want to Podium in the elite division and fully finish in the top 20. A tall order when I look at my competition. Tonight has just been a chill out night. No training eat some carbs, watch some ITU highlights, listen to some angry stuff on the i--pod. Tomorrow I'll shave and then make the long drive out. Part of me is really hoping for a good result, but worst case scenario it will be a good training day for Providence. I already have my plan in place. Go for bragging rights on the swim. Stay strong on the bike, and run like a man possessed. Part of me is thinking of taking the first 7 miles more conservative than normal but I know I have a hard time kicking it up the second half of races. The tempo runs with Tony have helped because on Sunday I was going at 1:45 half marathon pace for 11 miles. The nerves have hit but right now I have more important shit to be nerveous about. This is supposed to fun. This is why I punch a clock for 6-8 hours a day, to pay to do this. The past week my mind's been in a really dark place, part of me was really considering just loafing this season and calling it quits until today at work.
One of my co-workers asked me if I got paid to do this. I sort of laughed annd explained at most races I compete as an amateur so there's usually no dinero in it for me. One of my other co-workers chimed in "So why you do it?"
"Because I enjoy it."
Her response "How do you enjoy it if it doesn't make you money?"
For a second I had to think...I ended up pulling one of Macca's interviews out of my memory banks. He talked about younger pros just being in it for the pay check and for him how it's the win he cared about the checks are a bonus. I guess that's where I'm at. I sit around money all day, I worry about money all day, I deal with people that worry about money all day. For me sport is a welcome break. It's something I do for the pure fight. It's something I have to work at. And while on Saturday I'll be racing in the elite division the rest of my racing season I'll be going for nothing more than bragging rights, maybe another Timex watch, a couple of Free water bottles and hopefully the honor to throw down some coin and race on the Big Island.
To be cliche I'll quote Bon Jovi: "You live for the fight when it's all that you got."