Thursday, June 25, 2009

Operation Re-gain Manhood:

After some ample smack talk between myself and Speedy Claire I have gone through three stages of bad bike leg guilt: which has left me considering am I good enough? To the I need to make myself suffer this weekend mantra , to the almost throwing down some obsurd challenge like You and me chica IM NZ this March ( or a North American Equivalent) a take no Prisoners Battle Royale for 140.6 miles... let's see your bike speed save you now...kinda dare. Granted I realize that in that last instance my balls are larger than my check book. ( proabably still swollen from the pounding they got this weekend.)

I have come to one conclusion...My cycling sucks. Ok so it's not bad...but for the times I want to go and the way I like to compete, it's just not at the level I want.

I could sit here and blame my gearing at Patriot for my "poor" cycle leg all day long...but my biking needs and overhaul. Comparing swim and run splits to the guys in my age group my Run was one of the best my swim is one of the best, but my 56 mile ride is pathetic. The top guys in my AG beat me handily...Claire beat me handily hell they all could have gotten massages, taken showers and ordered a pizza waiting for me to come off the bike. I need to make myself suffer on the bike on Saturday and Sunday. Josie is getting an email and the orders not to stop and wait for me on our normal 100k ride ( unless I'm like on the side of the road in a puddle of my own blood or I suffer a major mechanical like both derailleur cables snap leaving me in the Big Ring- 12). I need to get faster so I have to set a goal of staying within 5 minutes of her. I need to go hunting damn it I need to go past the point of pain, bonking, exhaustion I just need to lay on the hammer for an entire ride or until I go into Krakatoa mode, and end up a nuked, shelled, quivering mass on the side of the road, covered in his own tears, blood, dried sweat and vomit. I need to not treat my training rides as comfortable I need to go out an anhilate myself, ride routes that's sole goals are the destruction of my psyche and body. I need to beat myself like a red-haired step child I need to look at my bike and equate it with pain. I need to suffer....and then wake up and do it all over again for a week straight.

The guy riding with a ball gag.

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