Well as you can tell from previous posts pressure has been building on me, with school, work, training, trying to finance New Zealand, help out my family, bail my self out from helpping out, trying to manage the stress of two jobs as well coach the fledgling swimmers of the tri club. Well last night I exploded...maybe not Krakatoa-like but I did let off some steam in a rather negative fashion that could cost me my lifeguard job ( which I desperately need.) On Monday Night the Aquatic director went off on me when he saw two lap swimmers using equipment THAT IS ONLY FOR THE SWIM TEAM!!!!! Now it's not our fault that the age groupers don't put away their shit so I rather forcefully and bluntly told my tri swimmers that unless they want to swim in the Stanley Park Lake NOT TO USE ANYTHING THAT HAS A NAME ON IT OR SAYS SUNOCO OR CCSU SWIM TEAM ON IT!!!!! Bjoern and I then took a look at the budget and decided that swim equipment might be a smart investment...
fast forward to Tues. As I was warming down from my 3400 yard workout I spied on of my fellow guards coming to swim laps using a Sunnocco Kick board Sure enough in half panic half Rage I told her anything that has SUNOCO OR A NAME IS OFF LIMITS!
but it was in the lap swim bin she Retorted.
IT DOESN"T MATTER IT"S THERE CRAP AND UNLESS YOU WANT TO BE KICKED OUT YOU CAN"T USE IT.
she grabbed another kick board how about this one..
does it have an name on it?
yes NO!
needless to say the guards currently on duty were bewildered at my rather childish actions and I then passed along the message given to me last night. One lap swimmer said that these rules were ridiculous but I informed him THE SWIM TEAM HAS PRIORITY again he muttered something about this shit being unfair and that if the swimmers left their shit out they deserve to have it used by someone else..as much as I agree with his sentiments I was hired by the aquatic director and his rule is law and as far as he's concerned Sunoco are the golden children and we lap swimmers are the peons. Needless to say my outburst was recorded and I was confronted by my supervisor who pretty much went through the if you're not on duty keep you big mouth shut...or deal with this in a more calm responsible tone...which sorry to any one who expereinced my out burst ...my shouting was the result of a lot of already built up pressure and this trival little incident was the spark that inginted an minor explosion. Needless to say I felt like shit the rest of the night, I fell like shit now, I will probably feel like shit the rest of the day for acting like such a 5 year old...and yes this is the reason I stay single...no one should have to deal with my problems first of all and no body deserves to be on the end of one of my out bursts! So if people notice I tend to be isolated, I don't talk much, I don't really hangout with anyone this is why...at least if I'm a lone and make a fool of myself I won't bring anyone down with me. Well that's my neagative rant...I've got to clean myself up and get in 7 hours at the shop...maybe a run..and then class...the same old shit just like every other day.
R.D.
3 comments:
wtf...you sound like me. Isolated, don't talk much, don't hang out with anyone...yea that's me.
Shit happens. As one who has a lot of shit on his plate, I can tell you with relative confidence that it's not a shame if you pull back from a few things to protect your sanity. Believe me, your mental health drives your physical health, and if you're overly stressed then the benefit of your training will be shit. How many times did i say "shit" in the above paragraph?
Take a chill pill, in whatever fashion said pill works for you. Whatever you do, DON'T BE LIKE ME. Peace homie.
I'm working on Cornerstone... stay tuned!
I think you described yourself as the uni-bomber, not someone who has a lot on their plate. You are not the uni-bomber (although you do have a lot of hair :)). Everyone has bad days, every boss is a pain in the ass sometimes, every workplace has stupid rules, and even people in relationships have outbursts (albeit fewer since they tend to be less... tense). Don't be so hard on yourself, and there are ALWAYS lifeguarding jobs around.
Take 10 minutes out today and have an I Love Bob moment. Eat your favorite ice cream, look at a pretty view at sunset, treat yourself to SOMETHING, I think you'll feel better.
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