Thursday, November 22, 2007

Holy Shit It's Christmas....I mean Thanksgiving.....

Yep, the commercialization of Christmas is about to hit fever pitch. ( Kind of Ironic that this holiday is celebrating the birth of one of the biggest dennouncers of materialism so we celebrate by buying more useless shit....some times I just don't get humanity.) Anyway trees, snow globe and other wintry trikets have been on sale since back to school sales ended, and tomorrow begins the end of year debt fest so without any futher adeu the Top 10 reasons I hate Christmas:

10. Crappy holiday jingles being played on the radio: By December 3 if I hear Rudolph the Red-noses reindeer one more time I will not be responsible for the rampage that will ensue.

9. Crappy Holiday TV specials: seriously how many times can a group of misfits save Santa and the commercialized bastardization of what was once a religious holiday in one night.

8. My Sisters started getting excited about snow. I live in New England, yet I hate the cold and the white stuff. It's tough to drive in, Central never Cancels and my job doesn't close unless it's a state of emergency. Also since I own only road bikes I can't train outdoors in it , or on the lovely mess of ice it leaves when it thaws and re-freezes....I seriously need to move West Coast.

7. Holiday Shopping. Seriously I don't know what half the people I shop for want...and I don't want to get anyone anything crappy, although the plus side of trying to figure out what I should get someone else helps me to decide what I want.Self serving but hey isn't everything nowadays.

6. Parking For Holiday Shopping. I'm going to squeeze my mid-sized SUV into a compact car slot so be prepared to exit through the sun roof.

5. My co-workers and siblings start singing Christmas Carols when I change the radio station. Damn you Ruldolph Damn you to Hell!

4. Trying not to slip about Santa in front of Young Kids. " Thank you for the Team Quick Step cycling Jersey Mom...I mean Santa."

3. The One gift that the media says you absolutely have to get otherwise your kids will hate you forever and will blame you for all of their emotional problems for all eternity. " Well doc, it all stems back to the Christmas my dad didn't get me a PS3. I wasn't bad at first, but then all the other kids started to make fun of me, this led to depression, then alcohol, then my hit heavy metal band, then heorin and now the sick broke bastard I am today. But it would have never happended if somebody bought me a PS3."

2. Flashbacks of the Christmas of Past: No comment.

1. Christmas is supposed to be a time of peace, love and unity. instead it is the time of year when Humanity shows more of it's darker side. " Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men, Give me that PS 3 before I blow your head off."

Well all my grumblings aside, today is Thanksgiving a day to be thankful for what we have in our lives. So before most of us call in "coughcough Sickcoughcough." to stand in line out side the malls and stores tomorrow morning, leading to another equally cynical post,
Happy Thanksgiving!
R. D.


Jodi said...

Bah Humbug!

Angry Runner said...

I'm also a hater. We can hate on what this world has come to as the hating haters of the commercial farce that is christmas (with a small "c").

I've been perinnially cranky from...oh about now until 1/1/newyear. Seriously dude, it's disgusting. I'm tempted on some of these deals going on tomorrow, but I'll try to keep my purchases limited to MORE INSULATION!!!

I'll holla.

Mr. Satan A. Chilles said...

I get pretty Scroogelike every year. The whole 'Black Friday/Cyber Monday crap has 'retail marketing department' written all over it. And you're practically un-American if you don't run out and spend every last dime of your savings on stuff nobody wants. On sale at 5AM, of course.

And we now know that Jesus was probably born in March, sometime around the year 2 BC (how does that work?), so there goes the accuracy of that birthday celebration, it was a pagan 'holiday' that some Holy Roman marketing department cooked up just because everybody had the day off already.

Well, you got me started, but at least you know we ALL got started, and we're in agreement...