2008 was over ambitious on many levels , I know I said it a million times but here's a million and one. The main goal for me in 08 was to do some big name races and hopefully get to my ultimate objective: Kona. Unfortunately life stresses, made what should have been an awesome season a living nightmare. By the time I DNFed at Nutmegman I was glad for it to be over. With the collapse of what could best be described as a "pipe dream" to do IM New Zealand in 2009, and deciding bills are more important than entry in to Arizona, 2009 is not looking like it's going to be a busy year. Part of me is thinking a back to the minors approach is probably best, But ideally I'd like to race 2 or 3 local sprints/Olys, a couple half irons and an iron entered through either a training pack or a community fund slot. The goals for 2009 same as 2008 try to get to Kona or die trying.
For 2010 I want to go back and race in Taupo. Hopefully I'll have picked up a better paying job, or will at least have graduated so at the worst case I can work max hours at the bank, and pick up 2 or 3 side gigs, maybe I'll have a break out next season and actually pick up a pro card and sponsorship ( unlikely but I can dream.) and can make racing in New Zealand a reality, although maybe I should agree with most people and realize that that race was a once in a lifetime deal.
Another part of me is sitting here listening to the fiscal forecasts for the next decade and when the broadcasters are posting a list of " the following pets are great sources of protein." It hits home the fact that I'm a poor kid in the rich kids' sandbox, and chances for mobility are limited. My aunt always shouts out to me "be lucky you got a job Bobby many people ain't go no job." Part of me realizes that I've sacrificed a lot in career mobility to get a BA which might be worth little more than toilet paper or a fire starter. Part of me is thinking that maybe that happiness the sport gives me most of the time isn't worth it. That I should go into the Depression era mindset of "anything to make a buck." That anything that does not have a financial reward isn't worth working for. That relationships, races, family outings , are all distractions from the ultimate goal of dying as the kid with the most cake, or in this case cash. And then I stop myself. I remember how miserable I was when I was working 75 hours a week. Sure the money was good, but I had no life, I had no time for anything other than work. My job defined me as a person. I was not Bob, Rob, Bobby, insert name here..I was that kid at the bank, or the game shop, or that ass hole who wouldn't cash your check or give you a full refund because you bought Fantavision and it sucked balls. ( note to anyone with a PS2 or old school X-box don't buy Fantavision ( Activison's bootleg version of tetris.) it sucks balls.) I was nothing other than my job and my lust for money is what drove me, I took abuse I dished some out, I was absolutely miserable except for the days I was able to get a day off or get out early and train. So I've always been caught in a paradox. When I've had the money to be able to race how I want I haven't had the time to train and I've had the time haven't had the cash. Hopefully this BA will at least be able to put me in a spot where I can achieve a happy medium that I can get ( and hopefully keep) a decent paying gig so I can pay back some debts, enter some more races, travel, in essence do what I want to do with life. So that is the ultimate goal for 09...get myself into a better position because just like Fantavison, most of 2008 sucked balls.
Well Ironman Kentucky is looking like a good back up as there are still general entry slots available so that will save me some coin. Also maybe if the Angry Posse's trip to Moehgan turns out to be uber profitable NZ could still happen...alright I'm talking like a crazy person but with gas prices tumbling ( boo-yah OPEC.) airfare is dropping like my 401k value. Like I said Jan. will be my official announcement on which IM I'm doing if any. And Yes Claire I will block air New Zealand on my internet browser.
To a better and more prosperous 2009.