Yet another trainer session.

Well upon talking to my mechanic and procuring some bike tubes for what was supposed to be a frigid 50miler I was greeted with a fine layer of the white stuff falling from the sky. After some muttered cusses I resigned myself to using the trainer. 3 hours on that little track stand had me sweating like a Turkish weightlifter in a sauna. I worked through some nutrition as well granted I think that I was a little heavy on the simple sugars as my mouth felt like it was going going into sweet diabetic breath mode.A bottle of Gatorade, a pack of shot blocks and a gu in what would be the equivalent of a half iron bike leg. My training for this Ironman hasn't gone as well as I'd hoped but then again 2008 was a nightmare on the personal and financial front and 2009 has begun a little shaky on the same two fronts. My mind has been in 50 different directions, and I just haven't been able to keep my head in the game...the weather hasn't helped,the fact it's my senior year of college hasn't helped, it's just been so hard to focus on the things I need and want to do, instead of give up in frustration. for triathlon, the motivation for me to keep going is simple to find, I do it because there are people out there that can't. For the getting myself squared I know I need to because I want a decent life, and for graduating college it's the same reason I want a better life than my parents I want to succeed but I am so afraid of failure. I just hope that maybe this year I can take that anything is possible mantra out of the Ironman, that I'll be able to knuckle down and get things done and that in 2009 I'll be self suffcient and prosperous, that I'll be able to find where I want to be and get there and that maybe for the first time in a while I can look at myself in the mirror without second guessing myself, that I can feel pride in doing what I want to do instead of guilt. Sorry didn't mean to get deep but when you sit on the trainer for hours at a time the wheels start spinning and you get nowhere, and if there is anything I hate it's doing a lot of work to go nowhere.

R.D.