Saturday, January 16, 2010

Man on the run...reflections on why I do what I do...

Well for the first time in what seems like ages I managed to get more than 2 runs in, in one week. Today I went for my 3rd run in my new 769's and ironically enough it was my second run of the week over 7 miles. I did my normal hillolicious route through Wolcott. Passed by all the usual hotspots in this small town ran over the reservoir, up the long twisty curves of long meadow rode. Got my balls busted by one of my banking customers, as I darted ast his house. It was the typical slog. I have to say I was hay that the weather was above 40F for the first time in a while and I was abe to break out the shorts. Likewise due to there being less traffic than when I attempted this route on Thursday I was able to cut 3 minutes off the clock. I hoping the weather wil co-operate with me for the next few weeks so I can get my running back up to snuff and *gasp* maybe organize an outdoor ride.

I have to admit not having an early season Ironman to look forward to has killed some of my motivation, but sadly my mind sort of needed the reprieve. I'm still debating on what races I should do.

I'm talking to the Navy recruiter on Monday to find out more about the OCS application process and see roughly how long it should take. I know application processing takes roughly 6-8 weeks, not counting all the leg work I have to put into the application itself.
I managed to email the crew at Rev3 to findout if I get discount for volunteering at last year's event turns out I do so I might enter it if I'm not already in the grips of OCS.

I could go into more of the reasons why I'm considering joining but the biggest seems I'm just not that interested in the opportunities I'm finding in the civilian world, and maybe that's the reason I feel called to go into this. I want to be challenged, I want to give back, and I want to be able to say I've done things people have only dreamed of ( yes I want to go in as a pilot or NFO (read guy in the backseat of a fighter jet.), aviation battery and eye tests willing. )

Wouldn't mind if they paid for medschool while I'm in that was my intial goal (figure there are a lot of wounded Marines and civilans out there that need care.) but the more I look into it the more I'm seeing that if I'm going to put myself through the Hell that is OCS the more I want to do something that is going to push me to my limits. I have some friends and family members that say that's not me, but the thing is the only time I ever gain any sort off confidence in myself is not when I'm coddled and "atta-boyed" it's when I stripped to the very core of my soul and I have to realize that I am better than my current situation, that I can achieve the impossible, that essentialy I'm left with no option but success.

All last year I sat there and kept looking at my photos and race reports from both my Ironmans, I had to take a good long look in the mirror because I felt so far from the guy who's Doctor said "You should probably ask for a refund." after he got his injury prognosis then decided to race anyway. I had to ask myself alot was that really me that did all that stuff?, The guy who's been sitting in the perpetual gutter watching everything fll apart around him with dread and trepidtion. Was he the one that did two Ironmans? Is he th guy who's entered marathons on scant trining and PRed. Last summer my heart wasn't in my racing, there was too much crap clouding my vision. There's still alot of crap clouding my vision but I'm finally feeling I'm finding myself again. I'm the guy who likes to take on popular opinion and say "Bring it Bitch!" Whatever happens to me in 2010 I've got to stop being a whiner and be fighter because that's what I truly am.


1 comment:

Charisa said...

I think you'll have a great year, and you will figure out what you want to do with work too.