Thursday, May 15, 2008

To hang it up or not to hang it up that is the question...

Well while today, started off a little Murphy's Law...I slept in, my dogs ran off, my other sister slept in so I had to drive her to school, got in to work to find out we were getting our Semi annual audit....surprise! ( And people wonder why I'm going gray in my 20's.) But it seems like I have found some balance to the quote my star wars/ Indiana Jones addicted brother. My Anthropology professor will get back to me on my paper, I don't feel so bad as three of us required extensions...and we were all doing relatively well...I think I have like a B or B- for the semester as of now.

I have my last exam tonight...which means I have to bash Stalin, and explain why the Allies won World War II .... seriously I think we had better leaders for propaganda I mean a British propaganda pic...Churchill with a Tommy Gun...German Propaganda Hitler in Liderhoesen...seriously who would you think's more bad ass? ( note to self if I edit this post..put up the picture of Sir Winston packing heat.)

Over the Last two days I have started upping my non-existent volume. I got in a 4 mile run on Tuesday night followed by 3000 yards in the pool. Last night I did 3300 in the pool, so my swim leg for Eagleman might be lethally fast as usual. After checking split times...I'm going to need every second if I want a chance at Kona or Clearwater. My run split would be about 5th swim about 3rd and my bike. ( in my age depends on the day and terrain. If the wind is calm expect a sub 3 hour ride...if it's typical Eagleman, expect alot of the other competitors and I to be pulling a Lt. Dan from Forest Gump...cussing out 36 mph head winds... put I still expect even in winds to be able to crack 3 hours....hopefully the Bad Karma train..which has been getting back at me a lot lately won't make an appearance. My mood has been generally negative, I blame alot of it on the unholy trinity of stress...Finals, Work and Home. My mom actually sold some high end rentals which is good...but the feds decided to screw any of us who used Turbo that stimulus check...might be non-existent.

In any case, when this whole finals week/ final draft of anthropology paper are done one major source of my stress will have been alleviated.

Later this summer I need to run a cost benefit/analysis on my racing schedule as well as if I should race next year. As one person put it I'm spending close to 33% of my annual income on racing. ( a majority of that was the IM) With college loans coming due, expenses that pop up from my family, as well as my own debts which need to get paid down, if I want to do anything with my life. It is painstakingly clear that a 10 race schedule just isn't feasible. An Ironman may be in the cards for next year, but I need to see how my summer finances unfold. Another idea I've been batting around is after RI 70.3 is to hang it up...not for the week.......but for good. Part of me finds great joy in the sport and thinks that with the right training, equipment and race planning I could go far. The other part of me is saying.." Bob you are unworthy of this, go back to the books and the office and let the real athletes play...besides you need the extra cash." It is something I do for love, but I'm finding out in this world money is the be all and end all. While I would like to be able to sit back at age 40 with a house paid off, my nieces' and nephews tuition for an Ivy League sitting in trust ( I do not plan on having my sibling's children will be spoiled rotten then sent home.) The other part of me realizes that given the way I eat and stress out, without the sport, I might not make it to 40. ( heart disease is hereditary in my family.) Also, God forbid, if I was diagnosed with Cancer, ALS, MS, or some other disease that would make even the simplest tasks a burden, would I want to look back on my life and say " Yea I was in to tri for a while I was good, I could have done more in it but I walked away at 23."

Well I've got a final to cram for.


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