Monday, May 12, 2008

Die Evil Paper!

Yes today is the day my Victorian England paper is due. It is completely different from my first draft, it has kept me up nights and I am still not done. I am six pages out but luckily she's accepting it via email until the wee-hours ( granted I'm out of work early so I should have it to her by 6:30PM, God Bless you internet.) I write this post on 4 hours of sleep after a night of borrowing computers, watching my beloved dell, bite the dust at a crucial moment yet again...once I send that email, I am using $1.00 of my university subsidized print credit to print myself a copy that will be destroyed using various means to rid my self of access frustration...burning, using as toliet paper, tearing into millions of pieces have all been thought up...while some of the research and topics were interesting, if I have to read one more article on how opium could cure simple aches and pains I might be "chasing the dragon" to ease my torment. This paper kept me in most of the weekend.. I vowed I would not be a last minute Charlie, yet here I am again, printing typing the final pages hours before the deadline...oh curse you good weather, oh curse you mother's day, oh curse you University administration who makes me perform this torture......alright I just collasped there for a second...the only things holding me together are the necktie and several cups of coffee I've been consuming at a rapid rate...alright it's almost over take courage man....six pages of bullshit, just make sure I get my sources in. I'm in the juicy part so I should be able to crank it out rather quickly....all I know when this paper is finally finished a 300 lbs. Gorillia will have been lifted off my shoulders, then I can get back to normalcy. Oh shit I'm writing like a Victorian....this just won't do, not at all.

Alright I'm getting back to work....if they findout you can get cancer from a computer screen in 50 years I fully plan on suing, Dell and HP.

The Tired Typer.


Ken Schulz said...

The first draft rarely looks like the final version...

"I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead", Mark Twain

Mr. Satan A. Chilles said...

Your experience reminds me of my time (or perhaps 'sentence') in school.

The day before a spring paper is due is ALWAYS accompanied by glorious weather and extraordinary circumstances. I swear, Allah, Jesus, Buddha, and everyone else could return from heaven and hand out free tri-bikes and coupons to Starbucks, and you'd still be stuck inside with the Chicago Manual writing about a subject you thought was cool three months ago.

And then you finally get the paper in, and somehow life changes all at once. Sleep deprivation, over-caffeination, and an unbelievable sense of relief combine into an out-of-body experience. That lasts until mid-afternoon, when you crash and burn and remember you misspelled 'public', without the 'L'.

Yes, I did that on a final once.

Bob Almighty said...

Well sadly I had to restart from scratch as my flash drive got as of now I'm about 7 pages in and it looks like it's going to be a long one...I hate it when the Karma train smacks me in the ass.