What has changed...the calm version

Well Yesterday I posted I might be deleting the blog, well I might...maybe...one day....



I got a comment after my "negativity enema" that I should try to re find my passion, sadly I think it's dead, maybe it's alive on vacation somewhere i don't know but in the last couple of days it's been lacking.



Upon hearing that my grandfather might be moving into an "active adult community." within the next 12 months, I have gone into panic mode. My grandfather rents a house from my parents, which is their steadiest source of income. If grandpa leaves that leaves me to pay the rent or they will have to rent it out to a non-family member. In either case it leaves in one of 3 spots.

1. moving on to my parents's sofa

2. finding my own place.

3.advertising for a roommate.

Hopefully he won't move until June which would allow my sister Melissa to move in with me and make the rent manageable.

Regardless this and the fact that my mechanic did me a favor on brakes yesterday repairing them and allowing me to pay late, as all my money went to books and food on campus ( otherwise I might have been a red stain on a jersey barrier somewhere, or riding my bike to campus a 30 mile tour da ghetto). irregardless it has had me second guessing the feasibility/ prudence of doing Ironman New Zealand, sure it's a great race, the people are cool and you have fewer American OCD M-dot types ( coming from one of them.)But is it worth the cost. I have been in the 7-8th circle of financial hell for the last few months, so I'm debating the risks. It would be lovely to go back this year especially for the 25th anniversary ( and all the free shwag.) But I must look at the long run, is it really worth it, and if I make it to Kona, despite it's a dream, is that really worth it, when I know I'll have rent, bills and student debt awaiting me at home.
R.D.